The Teen Lie: The Feared Scenario

Without a doubt, lying is one of the things that most worries parents during their children’s teens. Although it can arise for a variety of reasons, it is generally a feared scenario due to the complexity that this stage of life involves.

the first questions

What is lying? Not telling the truth or withholding it? Should there be a certain animosity about not telling the truth for us to consider ourselves facing a lie? What happens when parents lie?

Are there big lies and small lies? Or do all, even the smallest and harmless ones, have the same value? These and other questions are the ones we tend to ask when faced with a scenario where lies are possible.

Sometimes, they appear in a more veiled way and, at other times, the lie in adolescence occurs in a shy way, hoping to leak out for some space.

the role of parents

Can parents talk to their children about this issue? How can you prevent the lie from appearing? Just as children are not born from a cabbage, neither are lies; they record a history and trajectory.

During childhood, babies can confuse reality with fantasy and give freedom to imagination. It can be interpreted that these stories harbor certain lying spaces, but the motivation is innocent and, as the child grows, this kind of play disappears.

The problem is when the child understands that, through lying, he can get something, as a secondary benefit.

Possible scenarios for lying in adolescence

Other situations where lying can be present include when there are very severe restrictions on parental leave and authorization, or an anguished look at the existence of difficulties, such as handing out school grades or the “accidental discovery” of a cigarette in a backpack.

Susana Molina Martín (2010) points out that:

The educational centers are going through a period of adaptation to the new forms of interaction that occur in the student’s relationship with his surroundings.

In her research, the author describes the simulation or pretense behavior during adolescence and analyzes the simulation behavior as a result of the child’s survival needs in the society in which he lives.

When is lying worrisome in adolescence?

Lies, when they’re occasional, shouldn’t be worrying, but they spark some warnings not to crystallize. It is necessary to intervene when they become habits.

Why adolescence?

Adolescence is a stage in the search for parental identity, autonomy, independence and differentiation. Therefore, there are many occasions when teenagers’ wishes do not coincide with those of their parents, and this is a favorable terrain for the emergence of lies.

In short

• The lie in adolescence can tell us that the young person has not yet found his way and that the lie gives him or lends him an identity.

• It is essential to emphasize that shortcuts developed by lies often seem like easy solutions but are ephemeral and therefore harmful.