Stepfather And Stepmother: The Barriers These Relationships Create

These relationships are also known as reconstituted, polynuclear, or multiparental families. Currently, family relationships with stepfathers and stepmothers represent an emerging phenomenon around the world.

This family model is distinguished by having at least one spouse from a previous family union, that is, a stepfather or stepmother, depending on the case. In many situations, children from previous marriages are also included.

Living this new stage multiplies the problems and concerns in the family circle, especially when children from other unions are included.

However, this does not mean that families of this type cannot adapt and organize themselves to live happily. If so, do you know what you can do about it?

Families with stepfather and stepmother are increasing

Previously, marriages lasted longer. However, family dynamics and composition have changed over the years.

For example, in an article in the Spanish magazine  Clínica y Salud, it  is stated that, in the United States,  around 60% of  first marriages end in divorce.

Likewise, the authors also indicate that one in six families is polynuclear, that is, formed by parents who remarry.

The  relationships barriers to stepparents

Conflicts and differences are constant in any interpersonal relationship. However, in the case of the multiparent family, the difficulties are doubled.

In fact, the risk of dissolution is somewhat greater in reconstituted families. It is worth noting that the risk of separation in second marriages, without children, is very similar to that of couples married for the first time.

It is no secret that  the main reason for ending this model is family relationships, the presence of children from previous marriages and the problems related to them.

Thus, in the case of endings in reconstituted families, there are different sources of conflicts and barriers. Next, let’s talk about the most important ones.

• The reorganization of parents and the intervention of stepfathers and stepmothers.
• Your relationship with stepchildren.
• Aspects related to the assignment and control of responsibilities within the family circle.
• The relationship of family members with ex-spouses.

Divorce and children

Divorce is the dissolution of the marital bond between adults, but this does not happen with the ties between parents and children, which creates a conflict regarding how the family was seen. However, it is possible to be or have a non-biological father within the family dynamics.

For this, it is necessary to  adapt to relationships that arise from birth and marriage ; such ties are maintained after divorce and during new marital relationships.

But what can be done to overcome the cultural barriers that give rise to the roles of stepfather and stepmother? Keep reading to find out.

Consolidate the new marriage taking children into account

Forming a new family requires readjustment and adaptation. In some cases,  the weight of the family structure falls on the couple.

To strengthen this bond, it  is necessary for spouses to spend time together. It is also recommended that you define the necessary adjustments to negotiate and achieve consolidation in your relationship.

However, most families with stepfathers and stepmothers need to do the opposite. Consolidation of the family will begin to establish a viable relationship between in-laws and stepchildren.

Develop emotional attachment in the relationship

Definitely, the family readjustment process must take into account the relationship between father and children or mother and children. The need to include the new spouse peacefully serves to avoid the perception of uncertainty and threat in children.

A website specializing in reconstituted families indicates that, in order for children to admit the authority of an adult, it is necessary that, first of all, the adult earns their trust and respect.

This doesn’t happen overnight, but it can be helpful to spend time alone with each stepchild. This will allow you to nurture affection in the relationship and show that they are important to the stepfather or stepmother.

The spouse must be mindful of the children’s needs to develop emotional attachment and security, without this becoming pressure or harassment. However, it is necessary not to interfere at the beginning, taking into account the previous family dynamics.

It’s best to just express support for the spouse regarding parental and disciplinary decisions.

Create a new space for the new family

Forming a family with a stepfather or stepmother does not cause children to abandon their biological parents, nor does it indicate that the previous family should be excluded. However, it is necessary to seek points of affinity between members to create a union, which takes time.

Respect, empathy, communication and honest cooperation, among other factors , will allow children to assimilate and accept the new situation they are going through.

In fact, it  is important to foster identity and unity through activities. All members must collaborate. This makes family life more organized and stable for everyone.

reflections

Families with stepfather and stepmother are not simple. In fact, family  stability and cohesion depend on a lengthy acceptance process and a number of factors that we will not address in this article.