Do We Choose A Partner Consciously?

Love is an essential feeling for human beings. We are looking for and want to find a special person with whom to share our life. However, we are not always happy. Ever wonder if we consciously choose a partner?

We want to find the love of our life, without knowing, however, that there are elements in our psyche that play a fundamental role in making the right sentimental choice. Many memories move within us every time we make a decision, especially when we choose a partner.

We don’t always choose a partner consciously.

Women sunk in the sea of ​​misunderstanding and abandonment, men with very demanding partners, infidelity, boredom, disappointment, jealousy… There are many reasons why relationships don’t work, but the main one is that we don’t consciously choose a partner.

On many occasions, we develop a kind of “selective ignorance,” a mechanism by which we refuse to acknowledge our own prejudices.

On a conscious level, we would never recognize the requirements we have when choosing our better half. Although it sounds crazy, we sometimes select a partner with every unconscious intention to suffer.

What factors influence?

A question we must always ask is: how many unconscious biases determine our choice of partner? There are several factors in our psyche that guide us to choose a partner and that do not always have successful results:

Projections of your love story

Unresolved issues with previous partners interfere with new choices. Your unconscious won’t be able to tell who’s who and you’ll react in the same way, even if what’s happening isn’t the same situation.

The relationship with your parents

If you had a very good relationship with your mother, you will look for a woman who looks like her. If your father was an idol to you, your partner will have the same characteristics.

Obviously, it’s not something we’re deliberately looking for. However, if you look at yourself or others, you can see these similarities.

The relationship your parents had between them

How your parents treated each other will also influence your choice of partner. If there was immense love and loyalty, you can repeat the pattern. If they divorced without rebuilding their lives, then it can be difficult to maintain a long-term relationship.

Low self-esteem influences when we choose a partner

Negative self-worth and love don’t get along very well. Why? Because many times we don’t start dating someone because we want to, but because of the need for acceptance and then we fall into emotional dependency.

Many relationships don’t work because some people prefer to be bonded out of fear of loneliness rather than love in itself.

Social influence when choosing a partner

In the environment we live in, being alone is not well regarded. Therefore, we choose a partner because social pressure makes us look for someone not to be alone. That way, we avoid judgments. All of this ends up making us rush.

master your unconscious

The solution to getting out of toxic and constantly repeating relationships is to master your unconscious and consciously choose a partner. So find out what you really want and what your limits are.

Use your brain in a better way and control your feelings and relationships more effectively. There are some important requirements:

• Take time to get to know the other person: when we are in love, chemistry can make us believe that this partner is the ideal person. Therefore, allowing enough time will allow us to assess whether this is really what we want.
• Having your own life project: loving another person implies loving yourself and, therefore, maintaining our personal goals. It’s about sharing paths and not letting go of ours.
• Share values: Ask yourself what values ​​are most important to you. Can you imagine being with someone who thinks very differently? We can see values ​​through the actions of other people whenever we choose to observe reality.

The ideal is to share the road of life with someone who walks by your side. When we ask ourselves why we always end up with people who make us suffer, the answer lies with us, because we don’t always consciously choose a partner.

More tips for your relationship? So stay with us as we have more articles that might interest you.