A Hug At The Right Time Is Priceless

There are few things that are more comforting than a hug. Because these gestures heal, alleviate worries and erase fears that make us vulnerable, strangers in our own identity.

Our brain, no matter how curious, is programmed to connect us with people,  to build bonds that guarantee the possibility of survival, to validate us as capable, safe and worthy beings to give and receive happiness.

When emotional caresses don’t arise in our everyday contexts, when no one touches us, hugs us or says to us “I’m here with you, I’m seeing you and I love you”, something in us gradually fades away.

Neuroscience tells us that no child will develop properly if they are not nurtured with affection, if they don’t comfort their tears, if they don’t feel loved and protected.

As we grow up, we wear this armor where we convince ourselves that we are strong and invulnerable, that we can take everything and that few things affect us.

However, our emotions continue to have the same needs as a child’s because everyone needs to feel wanted by the people who are significant and to feel secure that they will not be abandoned.

Hugs make us close our eyes for a very concrete reason

A caress, a brush, a hug from a loved one is enough for a very special neuropeptide that is also released as a hormone: oxytocin.

• This magical compound is the “glue” with which souls are united, the engine that ignites the relationship between mother and child, between couples who love each other and between friends who value and help each other.
• Animals also have this neurotransmitter that exploits these ties between herds and the social units that inhabit a particular ecosystem.

Oxytocin lights up the brain and invites us to be kinder, more compassionate. It has great power in those areas related to emotions and, in turn, in how we can execute a kind of language where words are not needed.

A curious fact is that, without a doubt, it has once caught your attention is closing your eyes when kissing or hugging.

In these moments when the emotion is intense and our brain is locked in the release of oxytocin, it chooses to close our eyes so that, in this way, we can focus on what really matters: the emotions.

Hugging or kissing with your eyes open completely breaks this intensity, does not make it authentic.

Also read: Mature Loves: When Your Wise Souls Meet

The absence of hugs, the emptiness of the soul

When we have a bad day, when we’re disappointed, when we feel scared, insecure, or simply have a flu or another illness, it’s common for us to lie down on the couch and snuggle up for a moment.

• Little by little, we adopt the fetal position and cross our arms in this almost natural instinct to feel physical contact, even if it is our own.
• We need to be wrapped, clothed and protected with love  and, in these cases, few things are as therapeutic as receiving a hug from a loved one, be it our partner, mother or friend.

• The physical need for security and support through touch never disappears.
• These acts give us a calming effect that, at times, can accelerate the cure of many diseases.
• Feeling supported and loved strengthens our immune system. This sincere and selfless emotional support does much more than just a vitamin.
• In fact, sometimes even a doctor’s hand on our shoulder gives us encouragement and comfort.

Lacking these simple samples of consideration creates deep voids in our soul, in our emotional brain.

Also read: For all the hugs that healed me, for all the people I loved

The rules of a good hug

One thing we all know is that, no matter what we’re told, not all hugs will do and not all people can cross that personal boundary into physical contact.

The embrace of a stranger is not pleasant, it is not comforting and it is uncomfortable. In fact, in our social circle we also have family or friends we don’t want to have contact with.

Still, it’s also common that there are people from whom we want these hugs and who don’t know how to give them or don’t dare. Therefore, this advice will always be good:

• A hug should be spontaneous, sincere and intense. If you love someone, hug them. Don’t expect them to volunteer for it.
• Children always arrive at an age where they seem to fend off hugs, but even if they demonstrate otherwise, they like it and it makes them feel good.

Embrace them for a few seconds, even if they resist.

In these situations when you realize that words are no longer useful or that the conversation is drifting into a dead end tunnel, don’t doubt, embrace.

Because sometimes a hug can be the solution to many things.

Main image provided by Puuung