How To Control Your Child’s Rebellion?

Your child’s rebellion can manifest itself in different ways and according to how old he is. As it grows, many changes take place, usually motivated by the definition of its identity.

There are two classic stages of rebellion in children, between 2 and 6 years old and when they reach adolescence. In these phases, the child or adolescent wants to impose and exercise their will.

There are other rebellious periods, for example, when children suffer due to changes in their environment, thus making the relationship with their parents difficult. This suffering can be demonstrated in the form of rebellion.

Rebellion is considered normal behavior, but we must be careful when shown in excess. These steps of rebellion are necessary, in a way, as in these moments your child forms his own personality, identity and individuality.

Therefore, it is essential that you accept and understand your child’s rebellion, but also that you know how to act when necessary. Your challenge as a parent is to deal with the rebellion in a way that the child will imprint its identity, but not lead to bad behavior.

Strategies to Control Your Child’s Rebellion

You may have heard that during these steps you must teach discipline with love. Even if they are small, they are already able to relate their actions to what they are asked to do. You must stock up on all your patience, responding to all tantrums calmly and in control.

It is also essential that you regulate your behavior by applying certain strategies, such as:

1. Establish clear rules and punishments

If your child has known about the family rules and the punishments he will face if he breaks them since he was little, it will be easier for him to feel safe. This does not mean that your child will never challenge or break the rules, so it is important that penalties are applied as established.

A house with clear rules lets children know what to expect. It also lets them know in advance the consequences of certain behaviors.

For the child or young person, this is nothing more than a form of predictability, stability and control of their surroundings. In other words, the rules and the anticipation of consequences will give you more peace of mind.

2. Don’t encourage inappropriate behavior

Your child’s rebellion is heightened when you laugh at his misbehavior. Even though it is very funny at first, you will be sending an ambiguous message to your child. As a result, he will progressively lose respect for you.

Likewise, as shown in this work carried out by researchers from the Instituto Tecnológico Cordillera, these inappropriate behaviors can be influenced by poor communication between family members or by parents’ lack of interest in their children, and it is necessary to bear this in mind as well.

3. Reinforce positive behaviors to control your child’s rebellion

One of the most common mistakes we make as parents is to focus more on negative behaviors than on positive ones. As a parent, you may be reinforcing these negative behaviors indirectly when you constantly talk about them instead of acknowledging what your child does correctly.

Praise your child’s good behavior, this is as important as reprimanding what he does wrong. The positive nurturing model, as this study published in Latin American Psychology Advances points out, promotes nurturing based on being kind but firm at the same time.

4. Show unconditional love

Even if your child fails at one time or another, he has to know that he will always be loved. Explain that you are upset about such behavior. Put yourself in his shoes, understanding and listening. Avoid yelling and strive to remain calm.

If he’s already in his teens, don’t question his mood and let him have his own space.

Attachment, as evidenced in this article published in the Latin American Journal of Psychology, is the relationship that is established with whom we have an emotional bond, which is why it is important for good development and for consolidating the relationship between parents and children.

5. Recognize if you are encouraging your child’s rebellious attitude

Often your child’s rebellion can be generated by a family situation that, as a parent, you do not know how to deal with. The separation or emotional estrangement between father and mother is one of the most common causes.

If there is any kind of tension between the parents, the children are likely to notice and try to draw attention to themselves. Also, the preference for one of the children provokes rebellion in the others.

6. Offer alternatives

Offering children alternatives helps them to reaffirm themselves positively in the circumstances. It also contributes to the development of skills needed to make decisions in adult life.

Offering alternatives to your children can entail, among other things, negotiating with them. For example, allowing him to watch television until a certain time if he finishes all his schoolwork.

7. Use positive language

Affirmative language is much more effective than negative and imposing language. Positive language does not trigger challenging attitudes that will produce prohibitions. Don’t focus your speech on what your child shouldn’t do, but the opposite.

When you talk to him, talk about what you are allowed to do. For example, say, “You can ride your bike on the terrace” instead of: “You can’t ride your bike indoors.” For another example, say, “You can play the guitar in the basement” instead of saying, “You can’t play the guitar in the bedroom.”

about your son’s rebellion

No child is born with a manual on how to be educated, which makes many parents face this task with few tools.

Each child is unique and special, and how they react to situations will depend largely on what they see in their own home as they grow up.